Who am I?
I’m a laborer. I’m a full time mom and a full time wife. I work a full time job. I’m a full time housekeeper, a full time chef, a full time accountant, a full time chauffer, a full time dry cleaner, a full time grocery shopper, a full time handy man and a full time teacher. Am I forgetting something? Probably. You’ll have to excuse me; I’ve been rather busy.
But do all these things define me?
Who am I?
At the end of the day, when all is quiet, the house is settled and the last thing on the list has been marked off, the person inside me has become a stranger, someone I no longer know. I’m not sure if she’s lost or just…gone. But I do know that I must search for her. Search within the chaos and the buzz of everyday life. Search within the heart and the soul. Search for me—the real me.
I think it’s so easy to lose sight of one’s self. We so often put others wants and needs in front of ours that we don’t even remember what our wants, needs, likes and dislikes are. We become eager to please just to keep the harmony, because when the day is unharmonious, when someone puts a hitch in the giddy-up, the whole day starts to go downhill. Then we all know what happens next…the snowball effect that eventually leads to the avalanche. Then it can take weeks and sometimes months to dig yourself out.
So there you are asking yourself, yet again, who am I and what am I doing? When’s the last time you spent a whole day—scratch that—a whole hour doing what you want to do, something just for you? How do you find yourself when the whole world has taken so much of you that there’s nothing left, at least nothing that you can sense.
Remember the old, old commercial… “Calgon! Take me away!” I totally get it.
I wouldn't trade my children for anything in the world, they are my heart and my soul. But I do think that there has to be a happy medium in there, somewhere between mom and goddess.
I’m on a mission now. I’m off to find myself. If anyone can point me in the right direction, I’d greatly appreciate it. No worries, I'm not sad, just determined!
Happy Labor Day to all!
SIS Barb aka Elle J Rossi