As a writer of romantic fiction, the possibilities are endless and not only do get I to live through my heroine, but I get to live through every character on each and every page. I can have millions of dollars, be able to pay all my bills, have everything I could ever want, only to worry if my spouse is cheating on me with the tennis instructor. I can be a witch with immense powers, fighting a battle for good against a terrible evil only to find out that I must choose my life or that of the one I love. (Okay--that one is my story.)
I can clean teeth or be a storm chaser. Sell cars or traipse through the jungles looking for lost civilization. Own a restaurant or be brave enough to try exotic foods in every country. Send my kids to boarding school or find creative ways to teach them at home. Look in the mirror and apply make-up for a photo session or stare into the mirror and see the wizard of my dreams standing behind me with his wand in hand. Excuse me, um, sorry about that. I've gotten a little carried away.
As children, we dared to swing on vines in the woods, jumping from ravine to ravine, not thinking about the danger of the what-ifs. We held on to that rope and swung out over the river. We dropped with a yee-haw and never worried about hitting the bottom.
I guess my point is this. We can be a million and one things, yet most of us probably chose the path to success. What job would get us there quickly. But we lost the adventure of life along the way. I asked my friend Chris Behrens for some topics to blog about. His list was about a page long. Interesting fellow! This one struck a part deep inside me, made me think, made me wonder. I hope you will too.
Would you rather have an extremely successful professional career and unexciting private life or the other way around?
SIS Barb aka Elle J Rossi
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21 comments:
Good morning,
I think I've been very lucky. I was successful as a professional and enjoyed it immensely and I'm very content now to have a more laid-back existence. However, I sure wish I could give that message to my wonderful family who will often add the spice and intrigue into my calm life. :-)
Mary Jo,
Good morning. Ah, the best of both worlds. Most don't have that. I love that your family adds intrigue every now and again. They'll keep you on your toes and maybe you'll have the added benefit of book material!
SIS Barb aka Elle J Rossi
Before writing full time I worked in the corporate world. No sense of humor there, boring, and I wasn't challenged.
Now I'm challenged, live in different worlds and different lives.
I'm sure you can guess which one I prefer.
I'm going to have to go with the other way around, for two reasons. First, I think that friends & family are more important than co-workers, business associates, fame and fortune. If that's true I think there's more to be had from an exciting personal life. Lastly, I think an exciting private life can make up for an unsuccessful professional career more so than the other way around. Take a character from one of my favorite novels as an example: Ebeneezer Scrooge. Granted in the end he had both, but we all know which was most important to him. Of course, in the end it all depends on the type of person you are.
Barb,
You crack me up, girl! The part about the wizard of your dreams standing behind you with his wand in hand made me almost laugh myself out of my seat!
Hmm... which would I prefer? Great job, or great personal life? I agree with Chris hands down. Family and friends are much more important than coworkers. On the other hand, it's hard to have a healthy self-image if you're stuck with a shotty profession. Still, I think having a great family is more than enough to make even the crappiest job bearable.
Hi Barb, I agree with Chris and Amanda. Family life is very important. Of course, I could always use a little more spice in my life. Small town life can get quite boring.
Linda,
Yes! I know exactly which one you prefer. The one that gives you an adventure every single day.
SIS Barb aka Elle J Rossi
Chris,
Ebeneezer Scrooge. He ended up having it all. What a struggle to figure that out.
So, yes, I agree. Family and friends are more important, but do we get to have an adventure too? A life that we can look back on and think, "That was great! What a ride."?
I sure hope so.
SIS Barb aka Elle J Rossi
Amanda,
I figured you'd get the wand reference. I admit, I cracked myself up with that one!
Yep! Family and friends can make or break you, just make sure they always allow you to spice it up!
SIS Barb aka Elle J Rossi
BJ,
I have a few suggestions for spicing up small town life. They may involve a meeting with the town sheriff later, but no worries...I'll bail you out. Maybe!
SIS Barb aka Elle J Rossi
Elle,
I've been fortunate. I got to choose fun things as a teen and early 20's. I loved that. I did have a very rewarding career, high profile even, as a voc rehab counselor and moved into marketing/promotion. Wasn't anything I planned or even set out to be, I fell into it and loved it. Jake was born, I decided to leave that behind and be a full time mom. I've never regretted that.
I look back and think, what would I do different? Not much. The only thing I can think of is I would have started earlier on writing fiction seriously rather than jot down ideas, do short stories and filtering writing into non fiction arenas.
Interesting topic. :-)
Elle,
If we do it right I think it's possible to have at least some of both. If you can look back on your professional and personal lives to this point and at least have had some moments of success and excitement in them, you're ahead of the game. I can remember you and Brenda getting fantastic reactions from the crowds that heard you sing, and I've seen a great review of Beth's upcoming book. Those moments in and of themselves should be a source of pride, even though they might not be the whole picture of your professional careers. The same thing goes with private lives. I don't think a person's life could be considered unexciting just because every moment isn't filled up with something. To make a life be considered exciting, it might only take something as simple as a small town sheriff with his wand in hand...
Sia,
I envy you a little. I think there are a lot of things I would do differently. One of those, like you, would be to have started writing sooner. Who knew how much fun I'd have!
SIS Barb aka Elle J Rossi
Chris,
Oh no! Not you too. This wand thing could get out of control and I love it. At least you mentioned the town sheriff rather than the town drunk. Now that's a sight if I ever saw one. Um, not saying I saw that. I mean, come on, a "wand", in his hand, in public?
Singing was a very exciting part of my life and probably the biggest high one could ever experience. A natural high! Yee-haw. Am I proud? You bet. I'll always look back at those years with a smile.
SIS Barb aka Elle J Rossi
Oh! Good question. My heroines lead very exciting lives. Me, not so much. But I was reading this book the other day about a woman who had to go into Witness Protection and it got me to thinking, how would I deal with that? I would hate having to give up my friends and family, but if I had to disappear to keep them safe? I'd do it. But I'd probably cry a lot.
Luckily, my heroines are made of sterner stuff. Death threats, murders, car chases, none of that fazes them much. *g*
Interesting twist, Tori! So now, we have to leave our current lives, but we get a choice as to where and who we'll be. I love that, hypothetically speaking, of course.
I think I'd move out west. Maybe get a wilderness type of gig. Work on a ranch, but dress fabulously. I could get used to this.
SIS Barb aka Elle J Rossi
I'd want to go out west too, but I'd have to avoid Phoenix and Tucson (the places I'd most like to go) because I know people there. Maybe San Diego would be nice. Earthquakes, of course, but hey, they've got beaches! :)
I'd rather live in the city, I think. Especially since I'd need to rely on public transportation since my depth perception problems make driving, um, interesting. *g* As for what I'd do, work in a bookstore, maybe? Or something crazy like a late night radio show. Where I can play all the weird combinations of music I like and pretend I'm somebody else. Fun!
Tori,
You can still live in the country. Country folk don't care how you drive or how many times you run yourself off the road! Bookstore by day, radio show by night? Love it!
SIS Barb aka Elle J Rossi
Elle,
I've had a wand in my hand in public, actually. It was the Renaissance Festival, but hey....Interesting twist on the question with the witness protection angle. I don't know how I'd deal with it but if it meant someone's safety I'd find a way.
I have always been determined to be very successful. I think it has a lot to do with me trying to prove something. Having my first baby at a very young age made me want to show everyone and myself that I could still make something of myself. It made me want to be able to give my family the best of everything. I didn't want to be one of those women who never made it because they were on a tougher road.
I've held some very impressive positions and have made some great money through the years, but I think I've sacrificed too much family time. I definately would make some different choices if I could do it all over.
The vines that I have been swinging on haven't been anywhere near stable in recent times. I think this makes me feel like I have neglected loved ones even more. It feels like all the long hours and hard work were for nothing.
My girls know that I love them tremendously and they know I do what I do to make things "better" for them. It just still makes me feel guilty.
Success isn't everything, but it sure makes things easier. It makes sacrifices seem worthwhile.
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