I have always been very protective of my girls. I don't let them do some things that other kids do. Sometimes I think they get mad at me, but I get so nervous. I even have problems with letting them walk or ride their bikes around the neighborhood. We live in a nice neighborhood. Somewhere you would think of as safe. In this world, though, how do we ever know what's safe or not?
I am writing about this because of my oldest. She is 14 now. I have let her go to a couple movies with friends. She has always been allowed to go to sleepovers and school functions. I let her stay at the house by herself for short amounts of time here and there.
She asked me the other day if she could babysit 2 of my nieces this Friday. It would be until after midnight. Her and 2 very little girls by themselves that long makes me very uncomfortable. I wouldn't let her stay at my own house without an adult for that late. I know she is not happy with my decision.
Growing up, many of us SISters babysat other kids. I know I was doing it by her age. Why am I so scared to let her do it then? She's pretty mature and she is responsible. I just can't bring myself to let her do it though. Things just seem different to me now. The world is different.
Am I being too overprotective? Would you let her do it? If you are a parent, do you consider yourself too protective?
SIS Brandy
Six Things Writers Need To Stop Worrying About
5 years ago
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10 comments:
Hi Brandy
I don't think you are being too overprotective. I would co the same if I were in your shoes. Yes, there are times that I am overprotective with my girls. I try not to be, but it is hard. Just stand your ground and she will understand sometime in the future.
I'm a believer in the motto, 'better to be safe than sorry'. If your gut tells you not to allow your daughter to do something, you should go with that instinct.
I'm very careful with my eight year old daughter, too. Like you, I allow her to go to after-school functions, and she's been to two sleepovers (with families that I know well). But I draw a firm line, because a lot of her friends are allowed to do things that scare the daylights out of me.
Yes, sometimes I think I'm too strict. But then I stop and think of it this way, my daughter only has one life, a very precious life, and I'll walk over hot coals, or whatever it takes to protect her. When she gets older, she can make her own decisions. Until then, Momma's gonna set the boundaries.
Brandy, your concern only shows that you're a caring Mom!
BJ,
I figured you'd agree with me!! We sort of have the same ideas when it comes to our girls.
Alyson,
I feel the same about what some other kids are allowed to do. It all just seems so scary. We can hope they stay safe.
I've told myself many times that someday they will realize that I wasn't being a "mean mommy." They will know what it's like when they have their own children
Brandy,
You're right, it is a different world now then when you were that age, and it is always better to be cautious than sorry. That having been said, I think you should consider how responsible and level headed your daughter is to begin with, and think about how you two could implement safeguards if she was to babysit, like phone calls on a regular basis, etc. If you consider those two things and you're still not sure you should allow it, then by all means don't allow it.
Have you told your children what you wrote in that last paragraph? If not, I think you should. They may not get it now but someday they'll thank you.
Krys,
She has a cellphone. We could stay in contact. Just don't feel comfortable still. I won't let her go to a friends house unless their is a parent there. How can I tell her it is ok to be by herself with two little ones to worry about? You know what I mean?
I am such a worrier!!!
Brandy,
I remember the first time I let my oldest son ride his bike to the store alone. I was sick. But he did it and came back. And I remember the first time I let him wander off in the mall on his own. I was terrified, but he came back. And I remember the first time I left him alone, and the first time I left him in charge of his
little brother. I was worried to death but he did it!
I know that some people will say that it's different with boys than girls, but I would disagree. I think girls are more mature and more responsible.
I've seen your oldest with her young cousins and she is incredible. She is very responsible and caring with them. I always tease her that she is such a mom. Although I know it would kill me, I would probably allow her to do it. But I would tell her that I would be stopping by at one point during the night just to make sure everything is okay.
Also, it may be a good idea to have her take a first aid and CPR course before she starts babysitting on a regular basis.
Just my two cents...
SIS Bren
Thanks for the two cents Brenda! There's a vote for too overprotective! Just joking. You make valid points.
Brandy,
I went back and read what I wrote, and I realize maybe I didn't word it the best.
What I meant to say is that I am also somewhat over protective. It scared me to finally let him have some independence, but I felt I just needed to bite the bullet. Nobody but you knows whether or not she is ready or even should be left alone with two young kids.
SIS Bren
Brandy,
I can't believe I'm going to say this considering I am the most over protective of any of us. I imagine the worst in every situation. THE WORST. But I am trying to let go. A little. I have to let them experience things. Have play dates. Hang out with friends. Mature. I think I made some mistakes with my daughter by keeping her so close to me all the time. She can converse like no other adults, but not so much with other children. In fact, this is the first year that she actually has friends.
I know how concerned you are and I wish I had more info to base this on. Such as: I know you said she wants to babysit 2 nieces, but where is the house? How old are the little ones? Is it feasible that someone (if not you) could check on her? She is very mature when it comes to helping out others and watching over the little ones. I would trust her with mine above any 18 year old out there. She is responsible, smart and obedient. I think she would do an outstanding job and make you proud.
Please don't get me wrong. I don't think you are too overprotective at all. I'm just letting you know that if you decide that she can give this a try, I have every confidence that she will handle the situation well. Whether she is mad or not, the decision is completely yours to make. She is YOUR daughter. You do what you think is best!
SIS Barb aka Elle J Rossi
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